Most Decidedly Here



People seem more upset by my recent job changes than I am.  I effectively received a 40% cut in pay and, yes, I have moments of fear. Overall, though, I’m okay.  It will be tough, but not impossible.My biggest fear is, well, my fear.  Fear of change. Fear of failure. Fear of success.  First world problems.  I should use this time to find a new job. Something more suitable to my personality and abilities.  Unfortunately, I feel stalled. I always had some sort of direction when it came to my “future career.”  The day after I graduated from college, however, I woke up and it was all gone. Nada. Zip.   I have always been told that I am smart enough to do whatever I want, so I always had too many wants running through my brain. It has let to a lot of indecision.  Ideally I would like to wake up in the morning and look forward to work. Not feel like I have wasted another 8 hours of my life. Eight hours I will never get back.  I want to be a good Generation Xer and “do something” with my life. Something that makes a positive difference (according to my world view).

This pay cut is showing me that I can make less money and be okay.  Granted, I am saying this without having received my first decreased check.  That will come in a little more than two weeks.

I’m lucky, though. My basic needs are met and that’s more than I can say for millions of people out there. I have a partner who contributes to the bills and our lifestyle. I also have a good support system.

So, no, I’m not all that worried.


Written by mellydea

November 12, 2010 at 11:26 am

Posted in ramblings