Most Decidedly Here



People keep asking me how I’m doing this first week of my adjusted hours.  I smile and say, “fine.”  Everything’s fine.

It’s not. I’m skirting the edge of having a panic attack.  I haven’t had one of those since 2001.  I’m scared. I have too many what-ifs and assorted worries running through my brain.  My brain on a good day is a scattered mess.  Today it’s as if there is so much going on inside my head that I’ve become overloaded.  Systems are shutting down. Rebooting. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Let’s start over. It’s never too late.

Logically, I know everything will be “fine.”  People survive on less. I’ve survived on much less.  But still.

I’m scared.


Written by mellydea

November 15, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Posted in ramblings


People seem more upset by my recent job changes than I am.  I effectively received a 40% cut in pay and, yes, I have moments of fear. Overall, though, I’m okay.  It will be tough, but not impossible. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by mellydea

November 12, 2010 at 11:26 am

Posted in ramblings